What snacks are required to maintain this relationship?
LOVE PROMISES
Select all that apply to your Valentine experience:
Cupid's Playground
Unlimited forehead kisses
3 dramatic compliments per day
Priority couch cuddling rights
One free 'You're right' coupon per month
Shared dessert treaty agreement
Spontaneous dance break privileges
Emergency hand-holding on demand
Relationship Terms & Conditions
(Please Pretend to Read)
This Valentine agreement auto-renews annually unless explicitly renegotiated with flowers and chocolate.
Side-eye usage limited to 3 per disagreement. Excessive eye-rolling may result in penalty cuddles.
All snack disputes subject to immediate negotiation. Pizza toppings are exempt from compromise.
Romantic gestures may vary by season, energy levels, and proximity to nap time.
No refunds, exchanges, or emotional returns. All feelings are final sale.
The party of the first part agrees to laugh at the party of the second part's jokes, even the bad ones.
Both parties acknowledge that 'I'm fine' never means 'I'm fine' and agree to communicate accordingly.
Movie selection disputes shall be resolved via rock-paper-scissors, best of three.
Temperature control of shared spaces remains subject to eternal negotiation.
The last cookie clause: whoever calls 'dibs' first wins, no exceptions.
Fine Print: No relationship guarantees expressed or implied. Results may vary. Excessive cuddling may occur. By accepting this Valentine, you agree to spontaneous dance breaks, terrible puns, random acts of affection, and the occasional dramatic proclamation of love at inappropriate times. Side effects may include happiness, laughter, and uncontrollable smiling. Not responsible for butterflies in stomach or racing heartbeats.